You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
