Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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