I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i've created a new STD.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
