Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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