I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
