Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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