we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
