I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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