I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
