ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
