My hand turned me down
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
