I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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