As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
