I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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