She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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