maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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