Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
