Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize