There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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