I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize