just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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