a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
