how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
