We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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