just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
