He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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