her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
