Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think my mom watched the whole time
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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