Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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