im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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