im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He did a backflip because drugs
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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