some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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