I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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