I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
