just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize