a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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