whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
