Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
