You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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