Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
