I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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