Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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