fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
