You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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