it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
In America we eat man semen.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
