Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
