I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
