Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please, let me fuck your mom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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