In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Randomize
