My first STD was from a foam party
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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