And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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