So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
