Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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