Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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