I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
