awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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