No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
