so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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