i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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