You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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