He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A+ Viking dick
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