if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
