His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize