I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
