hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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