found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
